dutch marginal

today was a tear water tea day. today a friend defended his doctor's thesis while being retired for a year now. its was of course fantastic, wonderful, beautiful and he did it so well, but .. but what? but it is so sad to conclude thus your working life when you finished teaching and researching. of course, a true teacher and researcher never stops, and i am sure my friend will continue. but just realizing that you no longer count for a lot of people, because of your age. maybe you have grandchildren to teach, still meet with your former students and continue with your research, at home, but ... do you know the story by arnold lobel, tear water tea? here you can listen to the story: owl likes a pot of tea water tea every now and then and thinks of things that make him cry. this day, this event, this event made me sad, wanting to cry. probably i realize myself what i would have liked doing in the time that i still count. but my life also gradually passes by and my plans an...

rembrandt can be your teacher in painting, 350 years after he died. ing bank made six tutorials spoken by rembrandt (old dutch and his voice resembling his real voice, based on the physics known from his self portraits). the tutorials are only subtitled in modern dutch, so if you are not familiar with the dutch language, you will have to be satisfied with the images. it is brilliant of ing to do such a thing. the tutorials are inspiring and bring us back in time, when live was not so impatient. we learn about the many layers necessary to use to establish the effect that rembrandt did. he paints the way live works: we have to have patience, let things set for a while, renew our view, try a new layer, build, rebuild, change en rebuild again. Bron: ing.nl

so i am a disaster. a teacher to be, not being able to handle difficult classes. not really a good start for a new career. why are these kids so negative, so searching for trouble, so rebellious in a destructive way. i must confess, i am not the most structured teacher. i am flexible and organised but not very-structured. live is not structured in my opinion. live should be lived disciplined, flexible and creative; friendly, social and organised. ©Shutterstock.com/Monkey Business Images searching for an answer how to handle these classes, i came upon structured lessons, being severe, not allowing any exceptions, not really my way of handling. i am severe, but in a way that i want students to take their own responsibility. i think they should be able to handle exceptions, changes and surprises. i want them to enjoy lessons, because they have a goal. dream on, my dear. next step: crying, no. shouting, no. giving up, i have to. students have a right to have good lessons, and i can...

being a marginal is a feeling that creeps up from my feet to my head these days. you probably know the feeling. you feel like you come from another planet or another age, you feel like totally estranged from your environment and don't understand the world anymore. right now, it is the ideal time for this strangling feeling. the darkest days of the year. signs of marginality: having ideas that are usually not shared by many others not seeing any problems when others are worried and tired not understanding when someone wants you to do something but does not explicitly tells you so have uncommon and little material needs mend your clothes instead of buying new ones never throw away food take the train because driving the car for just one person is not environmental-friendly ... but after a few days, just by myself, with my own family, i forget the strangling feeling of being a nerd and a marginal and enjoy living the way i live. challenge is, to work without the feeling...

life takes turns, sometimes unforeseen, sometimes planned, sometimes both. challenge is to change with life and keep strong and happy. easy said though. so your life takes a big turn with kids, life is in a stormy unforeseen weather and both parents have to cope but above all have to keep up a relationship. do you take holidays together without kids, do you support each other if you differ in emotions and decisions, or do you flee away in living from day to day and maybe losing what was once yours. what is a relationship? 1. a connection, association, or involvement. 2. connection between persons by blood or marriage; kinship. 3. an emotional or other connection between people. 4. a romantic or sexual involvement. if you take the last choice in live, flee away in everyday life and let yourself flow with the stream, the second definition still keeps up, you are still related, married maybe. definition 1 is also partly still standing, you are connected, but involved? and then de...

a few years ago i never thought i would ever be able to read about cruelties in literature en watch films or news about the horrible wars and illnesses, without getting depressed. but what a surprise. as i grow older and my kids do too, i relearn to appreciate literature, films and news again for what they are. a representation of our real world. this must have been due to my maternal instinct. as long as my kids needed protection from those subjects, i banned them as much as i could from my world too. now that they have to get to know more and more about the truth of the world and not of hogwarts or other fantasy worlds, i reopen. i must say, that is quite a relief for me. i felt restricted, not being able to handle the world to her full extent. but then again. i read a lot of youth literature i now no longer have time for.

happiness is most close when you read. after that you can best go gardening to be happy and finally, having sex cheers you up too. but i know books that can make me utterly sad. gardening can make you sad too, when you see the plants dying in autumn and winter or when it is raining too much. and sex? well to be honest you sleep well on it but as an ultimate remedy for a dip, no, not for me. my recipe to wipe out that dip is to start making something, to do something that has to be done, to go outside, or like last weekend, to bring my son at half past six to a rowing-course and watch the rowers do their best in the early morning hours. and what to think of drinking something hot, like strong decaf or rooibos tea, taking a chocolate or a cacao bean and almond. or what to think of eating an egg, a banana or strawberries. they seem to be stimulating your dopamine content. and dopamine helps us to feel peaceful and happy. other people go for increasing the serotonine content of their bo...

the power of five, last book, called oblivion. if you are amazed and shocked about all the things we do to each other, all the wars and quarrels that keep on going forever. if you do not have a religion and search for the truth of live anyway, you may like to read book series like harry potter (the power of love), the rick riordan books (the power of gods and monsters and the heroes) or the power of five by anthony horowitz. they are children's books, so they have the positive energy in it that is inherent to youth and they have an explanation of the truth of life. not too serious but still they stimulate your imagination and give some comfort. evil powers and bad habits and feelings are inherent to human nature, but keep on fighting for the positive outcome of fights and struggles is their story. stay active and an activist for ideals or support others if they are stronger, but do not sleep or slumber on. do not search the oblivion of sleep and habits. do not be too sad because ...

having a period of real marginality. what really matters in live? maybe the small things you can do for your family? think of mrs jellyby in dickens' bleak house and know that it is not being generous to others and forgetting the close ones. so up and busy with the house, clothes, little crafts, plants and show a good humour and some charity to your beloved ones. and if you have time left or you do not have many around you, start finding others to help. and while being outside for this or that, pick up that bit of trash everyday. it really helps.

ever read farmer boy by laura ingalls wilder, you know, one of the little house books? i never read it upto last week, only saw the tv-serie. but really, do not miss this book. you will get visions of everything homemade, from butter and sugar to fabrics, shoes and all kind of tools. never knew you could keep ice frozen through the summer by using sawdust. of course, going back to that time is no option, but it gives you more appreciation for craftsmanship. why spend so much time with your computer, television or other machines. slow living, with the seasons a modern trend was just the essence back in those times. if ever you are dissatified with things you do not have, remember this book and enjoy the things you do have or do. why buy pink lemonade if at home there is always apple cider from your own apples and milk from you own cows. enjoy the clean water in the tap. enjoy the more than enough clothes in your wardrobe. enjoy life.

the black cloud has faded and daily routines take their place again. everyone knows those days. one more than the other. once again the madness has been caged. did you know that mason currey wrote a book about the daily routines of artists. maybe in artists the madness is essential for their creativity but also a danger for living. on the blog of mason you can read the daily routines of famous artists and you will understand the importance to cage madness in these routines just to survive. of course not all artists are instable in their sensitivity and melancholy but a majority is. freedom has a price. the freedom of being an artist means also a struggle with madness and frustration. if you struggle in your freedom, take a look at the routines of others that know the same struggle and try to find your routine: tips van Boston University .

all pressed people, stop being in a hurry!! especially if you can hurt other people with it, like on the street. stupid accidents are bound to happen and then slowing down is too late. when i see all the pressed people in the street, riding against the traffic, not waiting for their turn when crossing streets or small passages, driving through at (almost) red traffic lights, i feel sad. of course, often i am in a hurry too, but, i had to slow down a few years ago and became already used to the slower small kids pace years before that. and if you are tempted to hurry too much, just think of the biker that rode under a truck because he wanted to get in front of it (just this morning), or think of the kid that was bumped onto the road because a hurried worker did not see him (it was my son, and he was at home for three months after the accident). so slow down. please. we only live once.

david brooks, columnist of the new york times, recently wrote about the happiness of elders. while we fear the elderness because of the disabilities, the old body and mind, it seems we have nothing to fear and worry. because at that time we do not fear and worry so much anymore, but will just feel happy. ok, i thought. i have to act like a elder and be happy. the tips: 1. bifocalism: look at live from different perspectives 2. lightness: be at ease with the downsides of life. anxiety is a waste of time. 3. balance tensions: the difference between the severe parents and the relaxed grand-parents. act by wisdom from many experiences. 4. intuitive awareness of the landscape of reality, empathy and pattern awareness: this is only acquired by a lifetime of intellectual effort. so. to conclude. tips 1 and 2 i should be able to manage now. but for 3 and 4 i really have to age and wait for the ultimate happiness when i am eighty. wow. that is something to look forward to and not to fear. ...

why would only christmas be associated with love and peace. it is the everyday essence of life. let us not forget.

i was reading a calvin and hobbes book yesterday and recognized a lot now, while before, i just enjoyed it. so beware, before you have children, read calvin and hobbes and remember to enjoy it, realizing that you will recognize it later. do not loose your sense of humor and keep your patience. and if again, your house is a mess remember this funny quote from phyllis diller on children: 'cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.'

as my aunt is finishing her live this evening because of cancer, i am reasoning about death. without death, the world would be overpopulated or birth should neither occur. death is nature but a very sad part. at such moments you search for wisdom on life in religion, books or philosophy. i found this comforting quote by George Elliot

whenever you feel down, you feel like never getting up again. i can be jealous about the religious people who always have their religion at such periods. but recently, i read an interview with eric kaplan and read his philosophy. a quite comforting philosophy for the atheists in a dip. his theory says that we, humans, need a purpose in our days and in our lives. you have to know why you want things or not, often being just experiences you have. being a atheist does not mean you do not believe in something, mayby in santaclaus or just the flower fairies, a story, a myth, something your make up yourself. why not even though you know rationally it is not a proven fact. what is truth for a philosopher; only read sophie's world by jostein gaarder and you realize how surreal the world could be and is. philosophy in this world can be a survival skill with which you can find your intellectual and moral balance. it gives you tools.

when live is a burden and you are not religious, how to survive? politeness and love, i just read, are important. and do not force your philosophy on others. ok. let us try.

even red wine seems to be bad for your health. all the stories on red wine being good for the heart, seem to have been made from misinterpreted research. alcohol is poison. and that just now, when after years of not drinking a drop, i recently started with drinking a small glass once a month or so. i stopped years ago when i became ill for three days after drinking bubbles after a hard days work when i was very tired and short of breath. the first advice for those with any physical defect is to quit with alcohol, coffee and black tea. so i stopped with alcohol, coffee and black tea. the coffee came back when i was just permanently too tired but mixed with caffeine-free coffee. now red wine came back. but with the news article i just read, it seems to be as stupid as smoking. so i will just drink raisin juice instead of wine again. it is delicious though and relaxing, but i can think of other relaxing things.

making beautiful things, or seeing beautiful things can lift you up with a boost of energy. as we all can use positive energy from time to time, during days, during periods in live, i searched for more background to this phenomenon. i found definitions of emotional energy, the energy that makes you feel young and connected to the and hope in life., an aliveness of the mind, happiness of the heart, combined with an energetic body (physical energy). and for those with physical limitations, don't despair, the physical side is the less important part. if you have a dip, free up this energy by not only living for others, by not living in the past, by talking to positive people, by looking at beautiful things, by adding adventure to your live, by adding things on your agenda to look forward to. without doubt, a lot more things can boost your emotional energy.