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marginal

being a marginal is a feeling that creeps up from my feet to my head these days. you probably know the feeling. you feel like you come from another planet or another age, you feel like totally estranged from your environment and don't understand the world anymore. right now, it is the ideal time for this strangling feeling. the darkest days of the year.

signs of marginality:

  • having ideas that are usually not shared by many others
  • not seeing any problems when others are worried and tired
  • not understanding when someone wants you to do something but does not explicitly tells you so
  • have uncommon and little material needs
  • mend your clothes instead of buying new ones
  • never throw away food
  • take the train because driving the car for just one person is not environmental-friendly
  • ...
but after a few days, just by myself, with my own family, i forget the strangling feeling of being a nerd and a marginal and enjoy living the way i live. challenge is, to work without the feeling, to share without hurting someone by not understanding someone, to enjoy and participate.

i recently read a story about a dutch comedian who really tried to do what is expected of him, to participate in society, have dinner with befriended couples, use smart-talk at parties and feel a little bit a part of the other world, while his thoughts still make big jumps that people can not understand. i envied him for being able to. he sets an example for every marginal to just adapt enough to be integrated.

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